Learn The Ropes - Getting Started With Rope Play And Restraint

The idea of restraint and being tied up is a huge part of the BDSM scene and features heavily in many people's fantasies. There’s so many different ways to incorporate this idea and often it is used to spice up “vanilla” sex or as an add on in heavier kink scenes, but rope play can be exciting as a stand alone act.

In Western cultures rope play is used in the way mentioned above but Japanese Shibari (a form of rope play) focuses on rope tying as the main event, rather than the foreplay. Shibari will use natural fiber rope like hemp and each tie has important symbolism. Shibari focuses on the art of the rope ties and the aesthetic rather than the quick and easy practicality of restraint. It translates literally as “to tie” or “to bind” and is often used for submission and humiliation. 

Unlike other kink acts, Shibari and rope play is not inherently sexual. Of course it can be used in kink and sexual scenarios, but there is a huge shift in popular culture currently where rope play is becoming more accepted as a fashion statement or form of adornment rather than something to keep in the bedroom. Many people will use Shibari in particular as a way to meditate or connect with their partner on an intimate level- discussing it, and planning it can add a new level of communication to your relationship. Rope harnesses especially look amazing when worn over a little black dress for a night out. Self ties are also popular, which is where a person ties the rope on themselves (usually leg ties or chest harnesses). 

In the kink community, the dominant partner (or the one doing the tying) is usually called the rigger or rope top, and the submissive being tied up is called the rope bunny or bottom. 

If you’re looking to incorporate rope as part of BDSM play, there’s plenty of ways to do so. Restraining a partner/submissive leaves them in a perfect position for teasing and orgasm overstimulation or denial as they are unable to get away from a vibrator or fingers, or touch themselves if hands and wrists are tied. A column tie on the wrists or a rope cuff tied to a headboard is perfect for keeping hands out of the way and restrained. Restraint in this way can also be used for humiliation like panty wetting- tie a sub up and watch them panic and struggle until they finally let go. Rope dresses and corsets under clothing are a great reminder in public of what play will happen in private with tight ropes on bare skin. 

Suspension bondage is an extreme form of rope play which involves heavy duty equipment and suspending a submissive in the air from a ceiling or swing. It looks beautiful in photographs but requires a lot of training and knowledge.

There are plenty of different types of rope, from material used, to thickness, or how they are braided and constructed but as a beginner, the main concern is simply what colour will look best! 

As with any BDSM practice, make sure that all play remains safe, sane, and consensual. When using rope in any play, always make sure you have a pair of safety scissors at hand for quick and easy removal of any ties and consider the use of a safeword such as the traffic light system (red for stop, yellow for approaching a limit, and green for all good). 

If anything in this article has interested you, check out the multitude of tutorials across the internet about beginner ties. I recommend Rory’s Brainworks on YouTube for easy beginner explanations of simple ties. 

Black 10 Meter Rope

 Red 10 Meter Rope

Purple 10 Meter Rope

Pink 10 Meter Rope

 Thank you for reading!