We all saw Cara Delevigne’s look at the Met Gala this year- a white dungaree style suit reading “PEG THE PATRIARCHY.''. But what does that mean, and why is it relevant?
What does pegging mean?
Plainly speaking, pegging is the act of someone (usually a woman) using a dildo to penetrate someone else (usually a man). This reversal of typical gender roles can be empowering for many women and is a great way to spice up a sex life gone dull. Usually the dildo in question will be placed in a strap on harness which allows it to be used much like a real penis while your hands can focus on something else.
Why bother?
I get it- if you’re a male-female cisgender couple there’s already a penis involved without the fuss of harnesses and toys. But consider the exciting new power dynamics this could open up, as well as getting to explore anal play. A lot of heterosexual men are dubious about anything going up their butt, but there’s a study from the CDC (2011) showing that 44% of straight men had experienced anal sex. I’m betting the number has only gone up from there as we enter new sexual experiences and taboos become more mainstream. Let’s face it- the male G-spot (the prostate) is located up there, and if it wasn’t meant to happen it wouldn’t feel so damn good.
There’s also the domination side of things that appeals to a lot of women. Although it’s possible to “top from the bottom”- be dominant whilst being penetrated- being the one able to cause pleasure in a powerful way like this is sexy as hell. A lot of strap on harnesses include a vibrating bullet so the wearer won’t be left out of all the fun.
How to peg someone- Pegging 101
1. Conversation
Please god don’t just whip out a dildo and harness during sex and say “let’s do this now!”. Communication is key in all healthy relationships so pick a good moment to bring up the idea of pegging and mention it as a possibility to your partner. Let them know you're interested- who knows, maybe they are too! From there you can discuss limits and details about exactly where to start and what to try.
2. Anal Preparation
Rome wasn’t built in a day, and as the other less common saying goes- “buttholes weren’t stretched in a night”. (What do you mean no one says that?). Jumping straight into pegging is not a good idea because it’s likely to be both overwhelming for you and your partner, and uncomfortable if not anally prepared to take a toy. I recommend starting with some light fingering and moving up from there. Anal training kits exist and are a good place to start when preparing to peg. A good quality lubricant is key- anus’s don’t make their own natural lubrication. Silicone lube has better lasting power but I personally recommend a water based lube because it can be used safely with all kinds of toys unlike silicone based. The receiver may want to consider douching to feel extra clean but this isn’t always a necessity.
Anal Training Kit: 3 Piece Set
- Set consisting of three tapered anal plugs different in size with retraction ring
- Small - length 9.5 cm, insertion depth 5.5 cm, Ø 0.9-2.5 cm
- Medium - length 10.5 cm, insertion depth 6.5 cm, Ø 1-3.1 cm
- Large - length 12.5 m, insertion depth 8 cm, Ø 1.2-3.8 cm
| PRICE: £26.99 |
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Kinx Aqua Slix Water-Based Lubricant 100ml
- Kinx Aqua Slix is formulated for maximum fun! This water based lubricant leaves your skin feeling soft, pampered and perfectly hydrated
- It maximises stimulation, powering up your couples pleasure or your solo play. This water based lubricant is safe for use with toys as well as natural rubber latex condoms
- It’s free from parabens and enhances natural lubrication for uninterrupted pleasure
| PRICE: £9.99 |
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Prowler Anal Douche 89ml
- Prowler Bulb Douche is a classic douche. Featuring a silicone bulb and ABS plastic nozzle which can be cleaned easily and is simple to fill up and use.
- The base of the bulb is flat to enable standing it upright when needed.
- To fill, simply remove nozzle and hold under running water. Available in small, medium and large sizes in black. The orange colourway is available in small.
| PRICE: £9.99 |
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3. Getting the right gear
You are going to need lube as mentioned above. You are also going to require a dildo and harness. You can buy these together for a cheaper option, or purchase a universal harness and select your toy separately. This can be a good choice if you want a smaller toy to start off with, and you can “upgrade” when ready to newer, bigger toys. There are other options with harnesses and toys, such as harnesses with a penetrative part inside for the wearer, or strapless strap ons, but these are usually for the more experienced user.
Pegging 5 Inch Strap On
- Our Anal Starter Dildo is the perfect way for anal beginners to explore their curiosity
- 4.5” x 1" insertable
- Firm and flexible
- For beginners and experts
| PRICE: £18.99 |
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Black Leather Lux Universal Strap-on Harness
- This is a one size fits all harness which fits UK sizes 6 to 30. It can be easily adjusted for size & comfort
- To adjust the size, simply pull the nylon straps to get the perfect fit
- This harness features 2 uniquely sized silicone rings that hold the dildo securely in place during your adventure
- Fits up to 52" waistline
| PRICE: £17.99 |
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4. Get down to business!
Always warm up first with fingers and lots of lube. Make sure your partner is as relaxed as possible, and don’t get too hung up if things don’t work out perfectly! Try different positions (bent over a table or the bed standing up can help aim for the prostate) until you find one that works for both of you. Reaching around to give a handjob can help your partner relax and add extra stimulation. Most importantly just relax, take it slow, and communicate throughout!
