Sex – often misconstrued as penis in vagina penetration. This completely disregards a massive portion of the LGBTQ+ community. Sex isn’t just restricted to penetration and can involve whatever you want it to. To find out more about what sex actually is – read our article on What is Sex?
Lets get into it – doing anything for the first time can be scary, stressful, exciting and to some, precious. It doesn’t matter what the subject is, if you haven’t had the experience then it can bring comfort to do the research and prepare.
WHO!
Who are you going to do this with, someone you are comfortable with? It's so important have sex with someone who respects you and your body and wants you to enjoy yourself. If you have any anxieties then you should be able to communicate them.
Don’t worry if you feel embarrassed or nervous, because the vast majority of people will be anxious leading up to their first time. It is important that you make each other feel comfortable, relaxed and secure.
CONSENT!
Consent is so important, you can always say no at any point. Stop if you are uncomfortable or need more time to adjust. Don’t ever let anyone push you or make you feel like to have to continue when you don’t want to – it’s a major red flag.
If someone continues to pressure you when you’re not ready, it means they do not respect your ability to make your own decisions and they are putting their own gratis faction before your mental and physical wellbeing. You don’t owe anyone sex ever, it doesn’t matter if you’re in a relationship, married, strangers, friends – no is no, and coercion is real.
PROTECTION!
Always wear protection if you can. Whether it's to stop the spread of STIs or the chance of pregnancy. Here are a few recommendations:
o The Condom…
o The Oral Contraceptive Pill…
o Intrauterine Device (IUD)…
o The Contraceptive Implant…
o The Contraceptive Injection…
o Emergency Contraception Pill (The 'Morning After' Pill)…
o Contraceptive Ring…
o Diaphragm Contraception…
COMFORT!
While yes the internal walls of a vagina forms a natural lubricant, for a lot of people this isn’t always enough. Consider investing in a lube just in case. If you are having anal sex then lube is an absolute must, don’t skip it out, here’s why:
o The anus, unlike the vagina, can’t produce its own natural lubricants. Due to the lack of lubricant produced naturally, penetration can be more difficult, as well as unpleasant and unpleasurable. The last thing you want to experience in anal play is pain, so adding extra lubricants will prevent this happening.
o By not adding lubricant you could cause the anus lining to tear or even cause injury to the body tissue. This in turn could put you and your partner at risk of STI or HIV transmission.
o There is a higher risk of a condom breaking if there isn’t enough lubricant being used or the wrong type of lubricant is used.
o Making sure you use the correct type of lubricant can help prevent pain, irritation and transmission of infections. We stock a variety of fantastic lubes if you'd like to, browse our full range here.
FINALLY!
Ok now that’s all out of the way, you’re with your person. Now what? Communicate! Ask what your partner wants, explain what you want to try, share your thoughts foreplay is always a good place to start. Go at whatever pace you feel comfortable with, start with touching, work your way up and be thoughtful. If you want to go faster say it, if you want go slower, just say, and if its just right.. you know what to do!
Remember you are learning how to do something new, and what you're doing is so normal that nature will take over and do its thing regardless of how awkward it might or might not feel to begin with. Just have fun, don’t take it too seriously and we believe in you <3
